Happy Valentine’s Day

One of the midwives at the clinical site where I am working has a sign on her locker that says: Support Midwives, Make Love.

In that vein, here are eleven tips which were given to us by our guest lecturer on Sexual Health last year:

For a Better Sexual Life:

Suggestions that Work!

1. Connect before you caress—do things alone together that make you feel closer. At least weekly, spend anuninterrupted hour doing something that is fun or mutually satisfying (i.e. take a walk, have brunch, see a romantic movie).

2. Don’t forget romancing outside the bedroom—court each other.

3. Plan time together (when children arrive, or life intrudes, spontaneity leaves). Make a “date to make love”.

4. Create privacy (lock the door, turn off the TV and phones).

5. Sex is adult play—be sensual–let your skin and senses wake up to touch and caress. Use oils or power so that your hands can glide.

6. Dont expect mind reading—let your partner know what you would like: the kind of touch, the movements, the pace you enjoy.

7. Think about enhancing the variety of your sexual activities. Occasionally, try something “new” or slightly “forbidden”.

8. Stay positive and constructive—criticism never made anyone a better lover.

9. Keep your sense of humor—things often go wrong. Humor is the best lubricant.

10. Forgive easily—don’t let the little things ruin sexual intimacy.

11. Make your partenr feel valued—give a gift of yourself every day—a word of praise or a compliment, a hug or caress outside the bedroom, a flower, a card or special food, a few minutes of your full attention, your special helpfulness.

A loving connection is the most important goal.

—Drs. Marian E. Dunn and Sandra Leiblum

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