The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I feel like I need to be singing the Tom Petty tune right now…

39 weeks pregnant now, everything is ready.  Our fridge is full of food and drinks (gatorade, coconut water) for the birth. The birth tub has been inflated and set up close to the bathroom, ready to be filled. I’ve prepped postpartum pads with witch-hazel and stashed them in the freezer so they’ll be nice and icy-cold for sore postpartum perineums.  The diaper changing area and co-sleeper are set up and waiting. The birth kit is in the corner, with its attendant sheets/ towels/ washcloths/ plastic drapes/ shower curtains etc.  We have a birth ball.  And a rocking chair.  A moby, a baby bjorn, newborn clothes washed and folded and tucked away in dresser drawers.  We have everything except actual contractions…

It’s the strangest thing, this state of limbo.  I stopped working last week, at 38 weeks, which was a relief because work was becoming very difficult.  Two weeks ago, at 37 weeks, I attended a birth with a four-hour push at the end of it, and although I never doubted that the woman would be able to push her baby out, I did doubt if I would have the strength to get through it, heavily-pregnant and tired as I was. In the end, another midwife from our practice came in and helped assist during the last hour or so of the pushing, because my energy was really flagging.  And at some point, as a pregnant woman, you begin to want to focus all of your energy inward, on yourself and your baby, and it feels very hard to take that energy and give it to other women in labor.  Not that I’m being selfish about my energy, but I have reached the point where my own pregnancy is becoming paramount, and taking up more space in my head and heart than my midwife-self.   At which point I’m not much of a service to other women in labor anymore.  The time has come to be just a pregnant woman now.

And these last few days which have been given to me are wonderful. Days when I can still lounge around, stop by the nail salon and get a pedicure just because I have the time and the inclination.  Nights where I can sleep as long as I like (broken only by getting up to pee 3-4x/night).  Nights which I can spend with my husband, going out for dinner or watching movies together, cherishing these last few moments when it’s just the two of us, before it becomes the three of us.

I have told myself throughout my pregnancy that I will carry my baby to term.  It’s been a mantra of sorts, because I know many nurses and midwives who’ve had issues with preterm contractions and preterm births, predicaments which are certainly not helped along by their jobs.  While at work I was always very careful to hydrate myself constantly, and to sit whenever possible, and to try to leave the heavy-lifting to others during births.  But maybe so much of my mental focus was spent telling my body to keep the baby in, that now that I am finally full term, my body is having a hard time letting the baby go.  Or maybe I am just hyper-analyzing this.  First babies tend to come late, past the due date, and this is a first baby.

I am trying to not be too impatient, just because I am so eager to finally meet this little one!  I trust my body, and I trust the timing of my body and baby.  And really, my baby will come at the right time, when he is ready.  In the meantime…I can catch up on my blogging. ;-)

Posted in Homebirth, Pregnancy | Leave a comment

What happens when midwives get pregnant?

<insert Monty Python voice> And now for something completely different…

I’ve been keeping this news to myself for quite some time here.  I guess I’m finally ready to blog about it (not that anyone is currently reading this anyway, so it’s more or less like writing in my journal), but guess what??  I’m pregnant!  And not just a little bit pregnant, I am actually quite pregnant: 34 weeks today, to be precise, just three weeks away from full term.

We’re planning a homebirth with two lovely homebirth midwives in attendance  who have been caring for me since I was 10 weeks pregnant.  There will be a doula as well (one of my good friends who is also a Labor & Delivery nurse, whom I met while working as an L&D nurse back in 2003), and of course my husband, and my best friend; a small but incredibly supportive birth team.  And a birth tub, which we’re renting (and which we still need to pick up).  The list of things I need to prepare for the birth is still quite long, and a bit overwhelming, even.  At this point, we still don’t even have a name for the child yet (who is a boy, btw; even if I had wanted a surprise, I knew exactly what I was looking at during the sonogram, and could see the tiny little penis quite clearly).  We don’t have a pediatrician picked out, either.  The birth kit is in the mail but not yet arrived. And don’t even get me started on the list of baby stuff which we still need to acquire before the birth, diapers being priority number one. There is a lot to get done in the next few weeks.

From an emotional standpoint, though, I feel like I’ve been taking it all pretty well in stride.  I’ve had (thankfully) a very healthy and straightforward pregnancy so far.  I’ve felt good for the majority of the pregnancy, aside from some nausea and fatigue in the first trimester; all of my blood tests have been normal, the sonogram looked good, everything is healthy and low-risk at this point.  He’s a very active little guy, he squirms and moves nearly constantly, he likes to dance while I’m listening to music, and always kicks his happy appreciation of all of the good food I’ve been eating during the pregnancy.  Current pregnancy complaints amount to a sore back (totally expected, in the third trimester), and having to get up and pee about 3-4 times a night.  I’ve been working my usual schedule, and if all continues to go well, my intention is to work up until 38 weeks, or until I give birth, whichever comes first.

When I was a younger woman, still in midwifery school, I used to worry about my own birth.  I used to worry that I would know too much, that I wouldn’t be able to turn my brain off and surrender myself to the forces of labor when the time came, that I would be the classic example of the woman who’s trying to give birth with her brain rather than her body, and whose brain is getting in the way of the labor.  I worried that something bad would happen; there is a superstition among healthcare workers that pregnant nurses/ midwives/ doctors etc. tend to have a much higher rate of rare and frightening emergencies during their labors and births which somehow necessitate every intervention under the sun, or result in tragic and terrible outcomes.  I have heard this superstition passed around before—that bad things always happen to healthcare workers—and when I was younger I used to worry about it too.  And I have worried in the past that I will somehow by disappointed by my birth experience—that because I have so much knowledge, and such a love of birth, and so much expectation going into it, that inevitably there is no way my own birth could live up to such high standards.  The flip side of this is the fear that I am never going to be cared for as well or as completely as I care for other women; that the care I receive will fall short of my own lofty standards and expectations, and that I will never be given as much as I have given to other women during their births.

Like I said, these are old worries.  I stumbled across them while I was paging through an old journal of mine a few weeks ago, written down in 2005 while I was taking a Birthing From Within mentor training course in order to be able to teach Birthing From Within childbirth classes.  Strangely enough, these worries now seem foreign to me.  At least, they’re not the things I’ve actually been worrying about during my pregnancy.  I feel like the birth will be very difficult—the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life—but that it’s totally do-able, and that I will absolutely get through it, however hard or long it is.  I’m not really hung up on interventions, or trying to ensure that they don’t occur.  I feel like I’ll have them if I need them, but if all goes smoothly, then hopefully it will be a straightforward, uneventful homebirth. I don’t feel like I’m dead-set on a homebirth no matter what; if there are recurrent decels, or thick meconium, any indication of severe distress, or any other pressing reason, we’ll go to a hospital.  If I need a cesarean in the end, at least I know that I will be one of the women who really, truly does need a cesarean, rather than getting pressured into it by an impatient or uncaring provider.  If I’m having an exhausting 48+ hour labor with excruciating back labor and things are going really slowly, I’m not opposed to an epidural, either, and some rest.  Thankfully my midwife has hospital admitting privileges if we need them, and there is a hospital very close to us for emergencies.  I don’t think we’ll end up in a hospital, but I’m ready to weather whatever my birth throws at me, and I’m trying to cultivate a flexible roll-with-the-punches attitude.  But I think of all the births I have attended (326 now, and counting), each unique in its own way and yet also so similar, and I think of all the women who I have been with who get to a point where they truly believe that they can’t go on, that they can’t do it, that their baby will never come, that they’ll never give birth etc. etc…and then I watch them climb that mountain and get over it and do the impossible thing they didn’t think they were capable of, and give birth—simply, normally, vaginally, uneventfully.  And honestly, it gives me tremendous faith in the process.  I’m sure I too will get to the point where I am convinced I won’t be able to do it…and then I will.  I have faith that I will, and I feel like my faith is what will get me through it (and my smart and attentive care providers will make sure that we’re not taking any unnecessary risks, should we fall off the curve of normal, and I trust them, and their judgement, implicitly).

So no, I haven’t been worrying much about the birth.  I’ve been worrying more about motherhood, about the huge and tremendous responsibility which is about to descend on me.  I’ve been worrying that I won’t be a good mother, or a good enough mother, that the task will be too much for me, that my child will hate or resent me, that I’ll somehow mess my poor child up in terrible, Freudian, unfathomable ways.  And of course I’ve been worrying over the health of my baby.  I pray that he’ll be healthy, and neurologically intact, and strong.  Every pregnant woman does, I’m certain.

But I took the time to write down a gazillion birth affirmations last night, and I’ve been saying them to myself regularly today.  Simple things, but I also believe in the power of positive thought:

I am a strong and powerful woman. I believe in myself. I trust my body.  My baby is strong and healthy. My cervix knows what to do.  I have an open heart.  I am surrounded by loving, nurturing support.  I trust my inner wisdom.  Birth will come easily to me. I have everything I need. I welcome my coming labor as the perfect one for me and my baby.  I deserve and receive all the love and support I need. I deserve a gentle, natural birth. I claim my birthright for a wonderful birth.  I will be a wonderful mother.

Posted in Homebirth, Labor and Birth, Vaginal Birth | Leave a comment

CPM bill introduced in Congress

I have already written extensively on the differences between CNMs/ CMs and CPMs, about how there is a national divide between these qualifications which may prove very hard to bridge, and about how the lack of a unified standard of midwifery in the US continues to divide and destabilize our profession.  Part of the problem is that laws vary so greatly between state to state.  In some states, Certified Professional Midwives (CPMs) are legal, in other states they are not  recognized at all and must practice illegally and under the radar, even though they have studied and and been credentialed by a national certification board (NARM, the North American Registry of Midwives). It’s rather infuriating, given that the only thing stopping them from legal recognition and practice are the state to state differences in law. I’m not really going to go through the differences between CPMs/ CNMs/ CMs (read the link above), but instead focus on the fact that some very exciting legislation has recently been introduced by Congresswoman Chellie Pingree in an attempt to gain federal recognition of CPMs (thus eliminating the state-by-state discrepancies) as well as allowing them to be medicaid providers.  The rational behind this is that once Medicaid recognizes a  specific type of clinician as a medicaid provider, all of the other insurance companies usually follow Medicaid’s lead.  You can read the full text of the the proposed legislation here: H.R. 1054. The driving force behind this legislation is the MAMA campaign, spearheaded by the Midwives Alliance of North America (MANA) and Citizens for Midwifery (CfM).

In New York State, CNMs/ CMs practice legally but CPMs do not.  I personally know of several friends who have had lovely, safe, wonderful births attended by CPMs in this state, but unfortunately these midwives did so illegally, with no back-up and no recourse if something went wrong.  Being charged with practicing medicine without a license is very serious, and especially tragic given that CPMs do have certifications, but are unable to obtain licences in various states depending on state legislation.   How wonderful it would be if CPMs were federally recognized the same way CNMs are (although the bitter politician in me wonders if the ACNM is going to welcome this legislation with open arms).  In any case, check out the MAMA campaign, and let’s keep our fingers crossed!

Posted in Homebirth, Issues, Midwifery, News, Politics | Leave a comment

NIH Consensus updates on VBACs

One of the advantages to being a midwife is being on all kinds of funky mailing lists, which means that all softs of health information, conference invitations, and sometimes even free samples often show up on my doorstep.  A few days ago, I got just such a mailing– the NIH Consensus Development Conference Statement on Vaginal Birth After Cesarean: New Insights. Granted, this is from 2010, but nevertheless represents the most current and updated NIH State-of-the-Science statement to date.

A consensus panel of 15 non-advocate representatives (i.e. not lobbyists) from different disciplines (obstetrics, gynecology, pediatrics, maternal and fetal medicine, midwifery, clinical pharmacology, medical ethics, nursing, anesthesiology, risk management etc. etc.) got together and performed a thorough literature review and listened to presentations by experts, and then drafted the consensus report, posted above.  Pretty nifty, given the amount of information they had to wade through, and the fact that not all of the research available is good research.  I really liked the fact that the statement divides all of its research up into “High Grade of Evidence”, “Moderate Grade of Evidence”, “Low Grade of Evidence” and “Insufficient Evidence”.  My only complaint is that there isn’t actually a reference list at the back of the statement, and none of the research papers they are discussing are actually cited, so it makes it much harder to find and look at the research yourself.

And what does it say?  Basically, that the VBAC rate is still plummeting, and more research is needed.  Big surprise there.  The VBAC rate has been plummeting for decades, ever since its record high in 1996 of 28.3%.  It also seemed to suggest that ACOG could play a much bigger role in encouraging the practice of VBACs again, but maybe that was just my wishful thinking.

The statement begins by systematically reviewing the evidence behind the short-term and long-term benefits and harms of trial of labor v. repeat cesarean from the perspective of both mothers and babies.   Some of the benefits of trial of labor for mothers includes a decreased risk of maternal mortality when compared to repeat cesarean (high grade of evidence).  There is also a lower risk of hysterectomy (moderate grade of evidence), lower incidence of placental complications with future pregnancies, such as placenta previa, and placenta accreta/ increta/ percreta, (moderate grade of evidence), and shorter hospital-stays, with possible decreased risks of DVT (low grade of evidence).  Among the risks of trial of labor for mothers includes incidence of uterine rupture (moderate grade evidence), which is increased if there is a classical incision, i.e. a vertical uterine scar (however, there was only low-grade evidence to support this).  It’s also interesting to note that there was insufficient evidence to support the claim that repeat cesareans help avoid future pelvic floor dysfunction.

From the babies perspective, the perinatal mortality rate and neonatal mortality rate were observed to be lower in babies receiving repeat cesareans as opposed to trial of labor (moderate grade of evidence), and slightly higher rates of hypoxic eschemic encephalopathy in babies receiving a trial of labor (low grade of evidence).

To my way of thinking, though, the more important part of this statement is the fact that it also looked into many of the non-medical factors that are influencing the declining VBAC rate, such as professional association practice guidelines (ACOG’s 1999 Practice Guideline on VBAC being a big one), hospital and health-insurance policies, and professional liability concerns among physicians and hospitals.  I have heard my OB colleagues joke among themselves that the only bad cesarean is the one that isn’t done.  The general outlook that I have observed seems to be that doing a cesarean is always the right way to go from a medical-legal perspective; cesareans are perceived as being safer, by doctors and patients, no matter what the situation, and if in doubt, it’s better to err on the side of doing a cesarean than not.  This attitude can be found all over the place.  To quote a comment made by an obstetrician on KevinMD.com: “You never get sued for doing a cesarean section, you get sued for not doing one. So given the scenario with a questionable fetal heart rate tracing where any “expert witness” can find fault with, (even if there is none) I would rather perform a cesarean section than not. It comes down to a matter of staying in practice and making a living.”

The last Practice Guideline that ACOG has issued on the subject came out in 1999, and reversed its prior encouragement of VBACs, instead saying that women should be “offered” (rather than “encouraged” to have) a trial of labor if there are no contraindications, but basically asserting that it’s a personal decision, and can be decided on between doctor and patient on a case-by-case basis.  The 1999 Practice Guideline also stated that trials of labor should only be done in hospitals ready to respond to emergencies with on-call physicians always available to perform an emergency cesarean, as well as 24-hour on-call anesthesiology coverage (a standard which many rural and smaller hospitals find very difficult to comply with).   It’s important to note that this recommendation was rated as a Level C in the ACOG Guideline (i.e. based on consensus expert opinion, with no hard evidence to support it).  Nevertheless, many hospitals and providers have cited the lack of these emergency provisions as the reason that they no longer offer women trials of labor.

In it’s conclusion, the NIH consensus report directly addresses this issue:

Given the low level of evidence for the requirement of “immediately available” surgical and anesthesia personnel in current guidelines, we recommend that the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists and the American Society of Anesthesiologists reassess this requirement with specific reference to other obstetric complications of comparable risk, risk stratification, and in light of limited physician and nursing resources.

We now know so much more about the causes of uterine rupture and the safety of VBACs than we did 20 years ago when the practice was first encouraged.  We know that the use of prostoglandin induction agents such as cytotec and cervadil were a chief cause of uterine rupture, and that women with low-transverse uterine incisions actually have a pretty low rate of uterine rupture.  With this in mind, it’s probably time for ACOG to finally issue a new Practice Guideline on VBACs.

A last comment about the NIH report: they left a laundry list of critical gaps missing from the research, highlighting the places where more information is desperately needed, which was nice to see.  They also issued a few choice words about the “cesearean as best defense” mentality:

We are concerned that medical-legal considerations add to, and in many instances exacerbate, these barriers to trial of labor.  Policymakers, providers, and other stakeholders must collaborate in developing and implementing appropriate strategies to mitigate the chilling effect the medical-legal environment has on access to care.

I couldn’t agree more!  Thank you, NIH, for a well-written and informative report.  Maybe this will help swing the momentum back in favor of VBACs again!

 

Posted in Cesarean Birth, Complications, Hospitals, Labor and Birth, Research, Vaginal Birth, VBAC | Leave a comment

Vaginal twins at 25 weeks

So one of the advantages of working as a midwife in a hospital is that I get to participate in many births that I wouldn’t have the opportunity to experience in private practice.  If I were working as a private practice midwife, and as a homebirth midwife in particular, there is no way I would be able to assist at a delivery of preterm twins.  But, in a hospital such as mine, especially since there are no residents, we midwives often find ourselves helping and working with many of the high-risk women.  Today was a case in point.  This woman had been admitted early last week with preterm premature rupture of membranes (PPROM) at only 24 weeks gestation, which is never good news in singleton pregnancies, and even more worrisome in twin gestations because the babies are even smaller since they’re sharing a womb.  She was admitted and given steroids to help develop the babies lungs, and put on bed-rest in an attempt to slow down the labor; we also gave her prophylactic antibiotics since PPROM is often caused by infection, and with ruptured membranes, infection is always a risk.  Luckily we were able to get all of the steroid doses on board before the delivery of the babies, and she stayed on the antepartum unit for nearly a week before the labor continued to progress, going from 24 to 25 weeks gestation in the process–and every day was a blessing in a case like this, since every day helps.

Even so, 25 weeks is extremely premature, right on the cusp of viability.  She was moved to L&D this morning because she had begun to contract regularly again, and was feeling increased pressure.  We were able to hold her off for most of the day, but one of the doctors did a sterile speculum exam towards evening in order to visually assess the cervix (vaginal exams are avoided as much as possible when a woman has broken her water, since they tend to increase the risk of infection), and all the doctor saw was a head of hair, without any cervix covering it at all.  A vaginal exam afterwards quickly confirmed what she had suspected: the patient was nearly fully dilated, and the first twin had moved far down into the pelvis, to nearly +1 station.  Initially we thought she might need a cesarean, but a sonogram quickly confirmed the first twin was vertex (obviously…this was the twin that was presenting) and that the second twin was very nearly vertex (more transverse, but with the head still sloping downward).  After consulting with the MFM and attending pediatricians, the decision was made to attempt a vaginal delivery, since one of the risks of extreme prematurity is cerebral hemorrhage in the fetus, and pushing a tiny, head-first twin back up through the bony pelvis in order to deliver through the abdomen was sure to cause more damage, rather than less.  Nevertheless, she was taken to the OR for the delivery just in case a cesarean was needed after all.

All hands were on deck, and the OR was packed.  The attending OB physician was there, the back-up attending was also there, and I was there. We were the delivery team.  Two attending pediatricians, 3 pediatrician residents, and 2 neonatal nurses were also there, divided into two groups–one for each tiny twin.  We had two warmers ready for the twins, two isolettes, two laryngoscopes, two sets of everything.  The anesthesiologist was present and on standby in case we needed to put the patient under general anesthesia for an emergency cesarean.  There were also 3 L&D nurses on hand; one scrubbed and ready to assist in a stat cesarean, and the other two as runners/ circulating nurses.  And a medical student, who was observing (with the patient’s permission)–and holding her hand, and feeding her ice chips.

She was nervous, naturally.  This was her first pregnancy, she’d never pushed before, and she still wasn’t feeling the contractions very strongly (one of the hallmarks of preterm contractions is that they tend to be painless).  We set the sonogram machine next to the patient, and the back-up attending used it throughout the birth to help assess the position of the second twin (twin B), as well as the fetal hearts of both twins throughout the pushing.  We gave her reassurance, helped hold her legs, got her into a good position, and then asked her to push.  Amazingly (well, not really, given how small these babies are, and how low in the pelvis the first twin already was), it took only a few strong pushes before the tiny little head was starting to crown in the vagina.  Before we knew it, the first tiny twin was out, a red little girl weighing only 1 lb 6 oz.  I helped deliver the head and quickly clamped and cut the cord; the attending OB handed the tiny baby to the waiting peds team, and they instantly got to work, intubating and ventilating her tiny little lungs.  She never cried, but she was nice and pink, and waving her little arms and legs around.  Within minutes she was intubated and stabilized, and the team quickly moved her to the NICU.  Meanwhile, we were concentrating on twin B.

The back-up physician was applying steady fundal pressure on the uterus, helping to hold twin B in a vertex position and guide her into the pelvis.  After a few more contractions, the uterus began to close around twin B and push her down into the pelvis.  Once she was engaged, the OB attending broke the second amniotic sac, and we asked the mom to begin to push again, which she did with renewed energy (having gotten a brief rest after the delivery of twin A).  About 10 minutes later, twin B was also crowning, and again, we quickly delivered the baby, clamped and cut the cord, and handed the twin to the second peds team.  She as another tiny little girl, this time 1 lb 8 oz, and again, doing as well as could possibly be hoped for at only 25 weeks gestation.  Once she as stable, she too was moved to the NICU, and the OR began to clear out a bit.

It’s quite an amazing sight, to see two umbilical cords presenting.  We waited for awhile, and slowly the cords began to lengthen as the placenta separated from the uterus.  About 15 minutes after the delivery of Twin B the placenta came out–much larger than a singleton placenta, with two cords and two separate amniotic sacs (di-chorionic/ di-amniotic).  Once the placenta was out, we all breathed a sigh of relief.  A quick exam showed that the woman was intact (not surprising, given how tiny the babies were).  We cleaned her up, took out the foley catheter we had put in just in case she needed a cesarean, and transferred her to the recovery room, where her family was waiting. And there you have it: a remarkably straightforward vaginal twin delivery at 25 weeks gestation.  Not exactly something your average midwife gets to see everyday, but certainly something I felt very lucky to have been able to experience.

Posted in Birth Stories, Complications, Hospitals, Labor and Birth, Vaginal Birth | Leave a comment

The Fight for Planned Parenthood

And now, on to the national scene.  As I’m sure everyone knows by now, the House voted last Friday 240 – 185 to defund Planned Parenthood, which has 800 clinics across the nation and provides thousands of women with family planning, birth control, STD treatment, pap smears, and primary gynecological health care annually (and yes, they also provide abortions, but only 2% of their budget actually goes to that).  From a Kaiser  Healthcare article explaining both sides of the debate:

“[Rep. Mike] Pence [R-Ind.] has acknowledged that health centers use Title X money to perform valuable services that he supports, but he contends that the funds are also being used to support abortions indirectly by covering operating costs and other related expenses for Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers.

“Eliminating Title X funding has never been my goal,” he said on the floor Thursday. “My focus has and will remain on denying taxpayer dollars to Planned Parenthood or any organization that provides or promotes abortion as a means of birth control.”

My argument with this is that once again, abortion and birth control are getting mixed up, and they are two totally different things.  This frustrates me no end.  Family planning and birth control helps to avoid abortions!  If our country is so strongly anti-abortion, this is EXACTLY the type of organization we should be supp orting, not defunding.  I have personally used Planned Parenthood before as a student in order to obtain birth control, and as a midwife I personally send many of my patients to their clinics since 1) they accept medicaid (and all of my patients are medicaid-only recipients) and 2) they have the Mirena IUD and are willing to insert it into medicaid-only patients (my hospital unfortunately only has the copper-T IUD on offer, so patients seeking the Mirena need to go elsewhere; the Mirena, of course, is a form of BIRTH CONTROL).

Planned Parenthood is now currently trying to raise money and defend itself in the Senate against further legislative attacks.  Luckily, I seriously doubt that the Senate will approve the same level of draconian cuts to Title X funding, and even if they do, President Obama has vowed to veto such a bill.  Nevertheless, Planned Parenthood NEEDS YOUR HELP! With the anti-woman climate in Washington right now, it is very naive to sit back on our heels and assume that the Senate will automatically turn this aside.  Write a letter to your Senator, call or speak with your Senator, or sign PP’s Open Letter to Congress.  Or, if you’re in  the NYC area, attend the Planned Parenthood New York’s Rally at Foley Square at 1:00 pm this Sat. 2/26.

Posted in Choice, Contraception, Feminism, Fertility and Conception, Politics, Primary Care, Women's Health | Leave a comment

Oh, South Dakota!

The good people of South Dakota had the sense to vote down referendums trying to outlaw abortion in 2006 and 2008.  However, there is a current bill still on the table (unfortunately not yet off the table) called H1171 which is taking the entire fight against abortion to a whole new level.  If abortion itself cannot be outlawed, why not legalize the use of violence against abortion providers?   No, seriously.  H1171 is calling the use of lethal force in defense of a fetus a “justifiable homicide”.   I think the argument for this bill runs something along these lines: if someone beats a woman in the stomach as an attempt to induce an abortion, another person could legally defend that woman (and fetus) by killing the attacker.  In other words, the crime is not just against the woman who is being beaten, but also against the fetus, and the use of lethal force in defense of the fetus (and woman) would therefore be justified.  So, as it stands, the bill itself is not directly targeting abortion providers and saying that you can now legally go around killing them.  However, beware the slippery legal slope.  To quote from Mother Jones’ article on the subject:

“The bill in South Dakota is an invitation to murder abortion providers,” says Vicki Saporta, the president of the National Abortion Federation, the professional association of abortion providers. Since 1993, eight doctors have been assassinated at the hands of anti-abortion extremists, and another 17 have been the victims of murder attempts. Some of the perpetrators of those crimes have tried to use the justifiable homicide defense at their trials. “This is not an abstract bill,” Saporta says. The measure could have major implications if a “misguided extremist invokes this ‘self-defense’ statute to justify the murder of a doctor, nurse or volunteer,” the South Dakota Campaign for Healthy Families warned in a message to supporters last week.

Thankfully, for the moment, due to a national media outcry against H1171, the bill has been momentarily shelved, while Representative Phil Jensen, the bill’s sponsor, decides to either include language to protect abortion providers,or  cancels the bill altogether, since South Dakota law already includes an “unborn child” in the definition of “person”, and Rep. Jensen admits there may not be a need for a separate bill.  The NY Times also has the article here. There is supposed to be a further decision made on whether to go forward with H1171 today, so I will try to update this as the news arrives.

Even if the justifiable homicide aspect is dropped in H1171, there is still another bill pending in the South Dakota legislature which proposes to make getting an abortion in SD even more arduous.  This bill, H1217, would require women to undergo counseling at a Crisis Pregnancy Center (CPC) before being allowed to go forward with an abortion.  As it stands right now, the requirements to get an abortion in SD are already nearly insurmountable.  There is only one clinic in the state which provides abortions, the doctor who does them is flown in from a neighboring state only one day a week, and women are forced to see a sonogram of the fetus and are read from a script emphasizing that the baby is a living, separate entity and that they are connected, before going forward with the procedure.  Adding a visit to a Crisis Pregnancy Center, which are often run by religious/ pro-life organizations, throws up yet another obstacle.  H1217 also proposes adding a mandatory 72 hour wait time between counseling at the CPC and the actual procedure itself.

The 2006 CDC Waxman report has already noted that CPC’s are notorious for providing false and misleading information, and that the majority of counselors are pro-life activists, not trained healthcare professionals.  RH Reality Check has a great article on this.  Mother Jone’s also wrote extensively about the Waxman report and the false information provided by Crisis Pregnancy Centers.  Here are a few other links to blogs discussing H1217:

Our Bodies Our Blog

The Curvature

Blog For Choice

While our focus is caught up on the Federal level and the House’s swift and drastic attack on women’s reproductive rights (more on this to come), it’s easy to lose sight of the smaller state battles which can do a lot to set precedent and undermine Federal laws in the first place. If you’re looking to directly support the women of South Dakota, here is a good place to start: South Dakota Campaign for Healthy Families.

Related links:

The Daily Kos: an account from an abortion clinic escort

Belly Tales: post from 2008 on the eve of the 2nd SD referendum vote (which didn’t pass)

Posted in Choice, Feminism, Politics, Women's Health | Leave a comment

The Exhaustion of Hospital Midwifery

Haven’t updated in awhile. I blame the craziness of my job.  Seriously.  And I feel like very few people actually understand how bad it can get, unless you too are a hospital midwife on your feet 12 hours a day, triaging, admitting, delivering and then doing it all over again, and again, and again.

This past Monday was the craziest day I have ever worked in my 3+ years at my job, hands down, which is saying a lot because we’re actually a pretty busy hospital, and given that several nearby hospitals have closed recently and this past summer we got the contract for staffing the MIC clinics in our neighborhood, our volume has been going up lately.  The problem isn’t really the volume, though.  The problem is space, or lack thereof.  On Monday, for example, we actually did not physically have enough space to do our job correctly.  By the end of the day, triage was overflowing, there were at least 4 people waiting to get onto beds/ monitors and be seen, and we had no more rooms inside to put anyone.  The recovery room was full of women who were either triage patients or patients waiting to be admitted.  There were several women awaiting inductions–all for good reasons, such as diabetes or oligohydramnios or postdates–who couldn’t even start their inductions because again, we had no free rooms to put them into.  Thankfully there were a few empty beds on the Antepartum unit, so we admitted them and sent them to Antepartum to spend the night, with the hope that in the morning we could move them back over to Labor& Delivery to begin their induction.  If we had 6 triage beds, for example, instead of only 4, we could have done more about the backlog of patients waiting to be seen.  If we had 10 LDRPs (labor-delivery-recovery-postpartum rooms, i..e rooms equipped for births) instead of only 6 rooms, we would have had space to put some of the inductions.  If we had a few more quiet rooms (smaller isolation rooms which aren’t fully equipped for birth, but are good rooms for antepartum patients who need continuing monitoring, or patients on magnesium, or being kept for observation) instead of only 2, we also might have fared better.  But, what are you going to do when your unit is just physically too small to meet the demands of all of the incoming patients?

And don’t get me going about staffing.  2 midwives per shift.  That’s it.  2 midwives to take care of….8 laboring women, 8-10 women to be triaged, 4-5 women to be admitted…my head was aching and my brain was spinning by the end of the shift.  I literally didn’t know where to start or what to do first, there were so many equally imperative tasks awaiting my attention.  We also could have used a few more nurses too (there are generally 10 nurses per shift, but a few had called in sick).  The advantage to being a nurse instead of a midwife, though, is that as a nurse you are only assigned to 2-3 patients, and that’s it.  As the midwife, I’m responsible for the entire floor.  We could really use 3 midwives per shift, honestly.  Easily.

The icing on the cake came when EMS wheeled in a multiparous woman huffing and sweating in active labor, who was very clearly going to be delivering shortly.  And still, we didn’t have a triage bed or a LDRP to put her in.  She labored in the hallway with a small screen around her for about 2 hours while we hustled a recently delivered woman out of her LDRP and transferred her over to Postpartum.  When I checked the woman in the hallway shortly before the end of the shift, she was 9 centimeters dilated and about to begin pushing.  We didn’t have time to fully clean the newly vacated LDRP.  Instead, Housekeeping cleaned the bed only, we threw on a clean set of sheets, and got the woman into the bed, while the rest of the room remained dirty.  Not ideal, by any stretch of the imagination.  This was around 7:50. Our shift was finished at 8:00 pm.  I went to the board to give the poor, inundated nightshift midwives report.  I told them room ## was about to deliver, she hadn’t even been admitted yet, but one of them should get in there ASAP (which she did; we gave the rest of the report to the other midwife, who looked like she was about to cry).  I wish I could have stayed longer and helped out, but honestly, after 12 hours of such intensity, I felt like I was about to drop.  Thank god for shift changes and fresh midwives!

I had Tuesday off.  I slept until noon.  I was working again on Wednesday.  And let me tell you, one single day off is not nearly enough time to recover from the kind of exhaustion that a shift as crazy as Monday can create.  It’s not just physical exhaustion (although there is plenty of that); it’s mental exhaustion, too.  It’s trying to balance the information and histories and stories of all of these women in your head at the same time, keeping track of so many patients, and then figuring out who needs attention first; it’s taking histories and writing up admissions and putting in orders for nurses, and getting requests from nurses for such-and-such patient down the hall while you’re trying to admit such-and-such patient in triage and find the doctor so you can present such-and-such patient to her because you think she needs yadda yadda, and you forgot to put the orders in for that other patient who needed an expedited HIV test, and then there’s a sudden deceleration in room ## so you have to drop everything you’re doing, run into the room, check the patient, turn her on her side, put in and IUPC or ISE as needed, call the attending, present the patient to him (dredging the  information up through a cloud of other patients…was this the one who was being induced for oligo, or the one who had come in ruptured for 2 days who’d been on pitocin all afternoon?), and then as the decel recovers, grabbing her chart, writing a quick note about what you just did, then heading back to triage again to try to pick up the admission where you’d left off, except that a different nurse is now tugging on your sleeve telling you that the patient in ## feels like pushing, and can you please come check her? That’s the kind of exhaustion I’m talking about.

And I wish I could say Wednesday was loads better.  It was a little bit better.  Slightly less frenetic, slightly less overwhelming, but only slightly. At least we weren’t overflowing, with too many patients and not enough beds to put them on.  But even so, I had three deliveries, and the other midwife had three deliveries too.  6 deliveries in 12 hours is not exactly a slow day.  The very first delivery of the day was a woman who came into triage fully dilated and ready to push.  Again, not a single LDRP to put her in, so we brought her to the operating room and we did the delivery in there.  That was at 8:50 am.  The next delivery I did was around 1 pm.  The last delivery was right before I left, at 7:30 pm.  Welcome, Antonio, Jayden and Natalia! And at least we got to eat lunch on Wednesday, and sit every now and then.  Big improvement over Monday.  But seriously.  And then clinic on Thurs and Friday…which is certainly easier than Labor & Delivery, but still not exactly a piece of cake.

It was a killer week.  Truly.  And don’t think I’m complaining, since I do really, honestly, unabashedly love my job….but only trying to explain how amazingly, gut-wrenchingly exhausting it is.  I have 4 days off now.  I feel like I will be sleeping for most of it.

Posted in Hospitals, Labor and Birth | Leave a comment

AAP suggests possibility of “ritual nick” in place of FGC

In a controversial new statement, the American Academy o f Pediatrics (AAP) published a new policy statement on female genital cutting which suggested the possibility of doctors being allowed to perform a small, pinprick “ritual nick” in place of the more severe forms of female genital cutting (FGC).  FGC is a fairly common practice among many cultures in Africa and Asia, and their hope is that by keeping it on American soil in the hands of trained physicians they can limit the severity of the practice, or at the very least avoid families sending these adolescents and young girls sent back to their home countries for the more severe types of cutting, or sending them to non-medically trained practitioners in North America.  To quote the AAP’s new policy statement:

    Most forms of FGC are decidedly harmful, and pediatricians should decline to perform them, even in the absence of any legal constraints. However, the ritual nick suggested by some pediatricians is not physically harmful and is much less extensive than routine newborn male genital cutting. There is reason to believe that offering such a compromise may build trust between hospitals and immigrant communities, save some girls from undergoing disfiguring and life-threatening procedures in their native countries, and play a role in the eventual eradication of FGC. It might be more effective if federal and state laws enabled pediatricians to reach out to families by offering a ritual nick as a possible compromise to avoid greater harm.

This is a really slippery slope, though.  On the one hand, you want to be able to keep a dialog open with members of these cultures, and you want to be able to offer them alternatives to the actual practice of cutting, which is often done by non-medically trained practitioners in unsterile environments, and can be dangerous and deadly, besides the actual sexual and future child-bearing limitations that these practices entail.  On the other hand, it seems a hard thing to condone, and I’m not sure how positive change could be affected through this practice, coming as it does from an outsider/ western institution like the AAP.  The New York Times ran an article on this after the AAP’s announcement, and they did a good job up summing up both sides of the story, but in particular the response to this announcement by advocacy groups like Intact America:

    “There are countries in the world that allow wife beating, slavery and child abuse, but we don’t allow people to practice those customs in this country. We don’t let people have slavery a little bit because they’re going to do it anyway, or beat their wives a little bit because they’re going to do it anyway.”–Georganne Chapin, executive director of Intact America.

And she is right about that.  Is allowing American physicians to perform a “ritual prick” the same thing as condoning the practice?  And even if a ritual prick is less damaging to a little girl than male circumcision is to a little boy, what it’s standing in place of is still a debilitating and often times misogynistic practice that in many cultures  is designed to limit a woman’s sexual enjoyment (and therefore her promiscuity), enhance male sexual pleasure, and preserve her status/ virginity/ honor/ marriageability and group identity, and has with it a host of medical conditions

Female Genital Cutting is a difficult subject to broach, even at the best of times.  This something I have struggled with for years.   My first initial response to seeing it was one of shock and outrage at the brutality of it, and ended with me declaring that it is and always will be mutilation, and that I must speak out against it whenever and wherever I saw it.  Further thought on the subject has made me come to realize that as an outsider to these cultures, I can’t approach a woman by telling her that she’s been mutilated as the starting point for any future conversations–that will immediately close her off to me and only serves to project my own cultural bias over her own.  The important thing to remember is that to women brought up in cultures which practice FGC, it is no more strange to them than piercing bellybuttons or lips or eyebrows is to us, even if the implications, the actual act itself and the repercussions of it can be much more damaging to them than a bellybutton piercing.  When viewed within their culture, it’s a mark of belonging and identity, a way of fitting in, a symbol of their womanhood, a manifestation of their virtue and honor, and on its most basic level, the way that they think vaginas are supposed to look–beautiful, even, to their eyes.  When a woman who has been cut sees a picture of an uncut vagina for the first time in her life, the reaction is usually one of shock and horror at how ugly and deformed it is, lacking the symmetry and neatness of infibulation. As members of the western/ dominant/ imperial culture, we are not in a prime position to be doing the actual hard work of change.  Our position of privilege and dominance allows us to advocate for change, but the actual change itself needs to come from within, from programs like Tostan’s, which spends 30 months teaching and empowering community leaders and members of the community, giving them the tools they need to choose to stop FGC for themselves.  Compared to that kind of impetus, the AAP advocating for a western doctor to perform a “ritual nick” seems like trying to put out a fire with a squirt-gun.

But then, on the flip side, I do hear the AAP’s argument for trying to limit the prevalence and severity of FGC by offering a cleaner, safer, less invasive option, and it does seem like they have some research to back this up (but very limited research…and it seems there is also a fair amount of research arguing against adopting this practice. To quote again from their policy: “In some countries in which FGC is common, some progress toward eradication or amelioration has been made by substituting ritual “nicks” for more severe forms.2 In contrast, there is also evidence that medicalizing FGC can prolong the custom among middle-class families (eg, in Egypt).35 Many anti-FGC activists in the West, including women from African countries, strongly oppose any compromise that would legitimize even the most minimal procedure.4 There is also some evidence (eg, in Scandinavia) that a criminalization of the practice, with the attendant risk of losing custody of one’s children, is one of the factors that led to abandonment of this tradition among Somali immigrants.36“)  My question is: does the AAP really think that women and families from cultures which practice FGC would be approaching their pediatricians about this in the first place?  And in the AAP’s defense, they are by no means recommending this routinely, only offering the option of a ritual nick as a potential last ditch effort when other attempts at education and dissuasion have failed.   The actual recommendations at the end of the policy are as follows:

The American Academy of Pediatrics:

  1. Opposes all forms of FGC that pose risks of physical or psychological harm.
  2. Encourages its members to become informed about FGC and its complications and to be able to recognize physical signs of FGC.
  3. Recommends that its members actively seek to dissuade families from carrying out harmful forms of FGC.
  4. Recommends that its members provide patients and their parents with compassionate education about the physical harms and psychological risks of FGC while remaining sensitive to the cultural and religious reasons that motivate parents to seek this procedure for their daughters.

I don’t anticipate any actual change to legislation any time soon which would non-criminalize acts of FGC, despite what the AAP may suggest.  In fact, it seems like ths US is cracking down on FGC even more at this time, especially in the form of the new proposed legislation (The Girls Protection Act H.R. 5137) which would criminalize not only acts of FGC in the US, but also sending women and girls abroad to have the procedure done (which  is already law in most of the countries of Europe).  It will be interesting to see how this plays out in the months to come.  Any other thoughts on this?

Posted in Politics, Violence Against Women | Leave a comment

A case in point…

…just to illustrate the bind that the homebirth midwives find themselves in at the moment after the closing of St. Vincents hospital and the subsequent loss of their back-up hospital/ written practice agreements (see yesterday’s post):

Last night I was working (at the HHC public hospital in Brooklyn where I spend a good deal of my time) and I received a phone call from a sister midwife who works with me at the same hospital.  She had just been contacted by a mutual midwife friend who had been contacted by a homebirth midwife who was in the middle of attending a difficult delivery last night and was considering a transfer to a hospital.  While I don’t know all of the details of the birth, I do know that the woman had been fully dilated for several hours already, and had been pushing without much success, and it was getting to the point where the homebirth midwife was beginning to think that a vacuum-assisted delivery might be necessary, hence the need to transfer to a hospital/ MD care.   What the homebirth midwife was most concerned about was the possibility of an MD at a hospital turning her in to the authorities for practicing without an official back-up physician/ written practice agreement.  Nevertheless, any woman in labor coming to any hospital is entitled to immediate emergency care, and cannot be turned away, thanks to EMTALA laws.  The problem is that if the midwife attending her does not have admitting privileges and/or a WPA at the hospital where they transfer to, she has limited authority and cannot necessarily continue to manage the patient.  In other words, the midwife would have to act as a monitrice (midwife at  home, doula in the hospital), which is disappointing and frustrating, to say the least, especially for the woman in labor who was relying on her midwife’s judgment and management.  It pretty much destroys the continuity of care between midwife and client if a transfer to a hospital is required.

And then, of course, there’s the relationship to consider between the midwife and the hospital she’s transferring to.  If the relationship has not been established in advance, the midwife is walking into a situation where she may not know or be familiar with the attending on call, may not have any say or influence in the continued management of the patient, and may actually be judged and excoriated (at the best) and potentially turned into the authorities (at the worst).  The hospital outlook towards women attempting homebirth, and the midwives who attend them, can be outright cruel.  I have heard MDs muttering under their breath before about how “criminal” and “dangerous” it is to give birth at home.  It doesn’t help, of course, that the women who transfer to a hospital are only transferring because something went wrong, or because they need something.  It means that the only type of homebirth that hospital providers see is a failed homebirth, which naturally colors their opinions on the success of the process.  They never see the beautiful, peaceful, uneventful, successful homebirths.  Instead, they can sometimes feel like they are being asked to “clean up the mess” made by homebirth midwives’ mismanagement, and the crazy people who are stupid enough to attempt birth at home.  The attitude of the staff at the hospital and the way they act towards the incoming transfer is crucial.  Either they can be respectful and positive, or judgmental and negative.

So, at the moment, we have plenty of people in New York city attempting homebirth with no back-up hospital to go to.  We have midwives who don’t know where or to whom to bring their patients if they need assistance.  We have couples trying to give birth who face potential castigation at the hospitals they may end up at.

I’m not really sure what happened to the couple last night.  I got a text from my sister midwife whom I work with who told me that the homebirth midwife and her clients would be heading our way, but they never actually showed up.  I was concerned because last night was actually really busy, and we didn’t have any extra beds to accommodate them.  I actually ended up delivering a beautiful 9 lbs. 6 oz baby in triage last night, and the other midwife I was working with had to do a delivery in the recovery room–both of these on stretchers and not actual beds, which is never ideal.  I know for a fact that we would have been kind and welcoming to any incoming homebirthers (we meaning the midwives…I can’t vouch for what the attitude of the doctors and nurses we worked with last night might have been, although I’d like to think that they would be pretty open and respectful, given that so many midwives work at our hospital).  In any case, the couple never showed up.  I can only hope that either they were able to successfully push the baby out at home without needing a vacuum, or else they chose to go to a different hospital than ours.

I can only hope that the homebirth midwives of New York City will be able to find back-up physicians at other hospitals and sign new WPAs/ get new admitting privileges soon, so a situation like this where a homebirth midwife is faced with such a difficult challenge doesn’t occur again any time soon.

And speaking of updates: Choices in Childbirth has just posted a follow-up to their initial action (Action Alert: Part Two), so we can continue to call and harass our legislators about how important this issue is.  Please call or write or sign the Midwifery Modernization Act petition now!  You can read the full text of the proposed Midwifery Modernization Act HERE.

Posted in Complications, Homebirth, Hospitals, Issues, Labor and Birth, Litigation, Midwifery, Politics | Leave a comment