Hi, lovelies. Â It’s certainly been awhile, and a lot has been going on. Â I promise I will write some updates soon, but a great deal has been happening and I haven’t quite been able to process all of it yet. Â Once the processing is finished, the posts will come. Â In the meantime, I thought I’d share an amazing resource which has recently been brought to my attention with all of you.
Miscarriages are so incredibly common. Â Statistically, 1 in 5-7 pregnancies will end in miscarriage, although many might occur before a woman even knows she’s pregnant. Â I’ve personally had two. Â And I’ve midwifed many women through a miscarriage. Â In fact, I’m pretty sure if we all started talking about our miscarriages just a bit more, we’d be astounded by how common this is, and how many sisters all around us have been through it. Â But that’s just it…no one talks about it.
And it is hard to talk about. Â I’ll certainly give you that. Â I can’t speak for anyone else’s experience, but for myself there has always been some element of lingering guilt attached to it: if only I’d taken better care of myself, or been less stressed out, or hadn’t gotten into that one fight, or hadn’t stayed up 24 hrs straight delivering a baby and gotten more sleep instead. Â As if I had had any control over it in the first place. Â It’s hard to accept that most miscarriages happen for no good reason at all. Â Or actually, perhaps they happen for the very best reason possible. Â If you stop to think about it, a miscarriage is the body’s way (or nature’s way, or God’s way, or the Goddesses way, or [insert spiritual belief of choice here]’s way) of ensuring that more often than not healthy babies are carried to term and delivered. Â Think of all of the miraculous, amazing steps which have to go perfectly right in order to form a fetus. Â If even one of those steps goes wrong in those early weeks, the implications for a living child can be devastating. Â While a miscarriage can be absolutely harrowing, I do believe it’s kinder than the alternative. Â And those early steps are pretty complex. Â It’s not surprising that something goes awry from time to time.
But this is cold comfort. Â And since it’s so rarely talked about, knowing what to do to recover and heal after a miscarriage is very rarely discussed. As a provider I’ve often searched for a resource or a guide to give to clients to help them ground themselves afterwards. And as a woman who’s been through it, I’ve found myself staring off into space afterwards, hands on a suddenly empty belly, wondering to myself: what happens next? Â I think the answer to that question is so incredibly personal, for each and every woman. Â But I did find this fantastic post over by Jessica from Smarter Each Day which is certainly worth sharing: Natural and Holistic Healing from a Miscarriage. Â It’s worth a read, even if this has never happened to you, if only to allow you to better support a friend or sister who does have to endure this. Â And for everyone else who has had to walk this path, what helped you heal afterwards?
If we all start talking about our own experiences just a bit more often, we’ll stop feeling so alone.