Comments on: Further thoughts on FGM http://www.bellytales.com/2006/04/19/further-thoughts-on-fgm/ The Diary of a New Midwife Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:19:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: kyra http://www.bellytales.com/2006/04/19/further-thoughts-on-fgm/comment-page-1/#comment-871 kyra Fri, 21 Apr 2006 20:54:25 +0000 http://www.studentmidwife.org/2006/04/19/further-thoughts-on-fgm/#comment-871 I think you absolutely did the right thing by not talking to her about it, especially if she was giving you signals not to. Who knows what her situation was... it's a practice that has been going on so long, perhaps she felt like it was normal at the time, and has since realized how horrifying it is in the eyes of the western world. Which I'm sure makes her very self-conscious and possibly ashamed. But she can hardly be held responsible for that. It's something that happened to her, not exactly a choice. Even if she was fine with it, I'm sure it's because it was culturally acceptable at that time, something that many women around her also experienced as 'normal'. But you're right, "mutilation" is such a horrible word. When talking about preventing FGD from happening, perhaps the word mutilation makes a stronger case for describing how horrible the practice really is. But I imagine that word could make a woman feel more ashamed and victimized for something that has already happened to her, and that's a very sensitive situation. Maybe it is important for her to come to terms with the atrocity and feel like a victim, so that perhaps she can then prevent it from happening to others. But I can imagine it could be a terribly difficult emotional experience to come to terms with and embrace that victimhood. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I think you did the right thing... I think you absolutely did the right thing by not talking to her about it, especially if she was giving you signals not to. Who knows what her situation was… it’s a practice that has been going on so long, perhaps she felt like it was normal at the time, and has since realized how horrifying it is in the eyes of the western world. Which I’m sure makes her very self-conscious and possibly ashamed. But she can hardly be held responsible for that. It’s something that happened to her, not exactly a choice. Even if she was fine with it, I’m sure it’s because it was culturally acceptable at that time, something that many women around her also experienced as ‘normal’.

But you’re right, “mutilation” is such a horrible word. When talking about preventing FGD from happening, perhaps the word mutilation makes a stronger case for describing how horrible the practice really is. But I imagine that word could make a woman feel more ashamed and victimized for something that has already happened to her, and that’s a very sensitive situation. Maybe it is important for her to come to terms with the atrocity and feel like a victim, so that perhaps she can then prevent it from happening to others. But I can imagine it could be a terribly difficult emotional experience to come to terms with and embrace that victimhood.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I think you did the right thing…

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